Issue #356

One last—M E S S A G E—from the Democratic Party

The Koch Brothers will cut off all our heads if we don't SEND! MONEY! NOW!

The Koch Brothers will cut off all our heads if we don’t SEND! MONEY! NOW!

I’m sick. I am literally sick with worry. This has been the single most difficult week of our entire lives. Democracy is dangling by Her fingertips. Earlier today, [NAME], I emailed you with a message from the President. More than 8O,OOO people listened. Did you listen? I don’t think you did. And so I’ve been sitting here (I think I have a fever), thinking about this final FEC deadline. I am alone in the dark. (Okay, there’s one light on.) If we don’t meet the deadline, then sure, the crust of the earth won’t crack in half and send us all sliding into the horrible abyss. That would be a dramatic thing to say. But people like the Koch brothers, Karl Rove, and their cronies are going to be able to DESTROY Democrats with hundreds of millions of dollars in negative attacks like we’ve never seen before. Katherine Miller, Buzzfeed, 9-30-14. (This is satire, folks.)